Lady Aria Grey has been talking about pretension on YouTube lately. And oh boy, when it comes to fine art spaces, we’re all too familiar with those awkward moments swirling of wine glasses, staring deeply into indistinguishable installations, and throwing around words peppered with “ims” and “posts”. To help us make sense of these overwhelming moments of “what-the-f*%k-I-don’t-know-what-this-means”, Lady Aria Grey mailed us a little guide:
“Hello lambs, it’s Lady Aria Grey.
How are you? I’m fine, thanks. Lovely.
A little while ago I put on my good hair and took a chic trip to a stylish art gallery in fashionable Cape Town with my trendy friends at Between 10and5. It was a wonderful way to spend the day, and I learned a lot about art. I didn’t know much about art before, but now I know lots about art.
Art is so cool.
What’s more, Cape Town has some of the coolest art around, and I decided to put together some tips and tricks to teach you lots about art. This is for all you people who don’t know lots about art, like I used to. Let’s begin with some tips on how to behave appropriately in art galleries:
Because if you don’t have an opinion on the art, this portrays you as a chancer who is really just there for the free wine. But even if that is the case, your secret must never be revealed.
This is a very handy tip for building street cred, and making sure that people think you are mysterious.
Because that is how art sales work. I was surprised too.
And everybody knows that the best way to communicate with art is to stare at it very hard until it starts to make sense.
Well, those were my tips on appropriate art gallery behaviour. But remember, lambs, those tips are only worth remembering if the art gallery you are in has GOOD art, which brings me to my next question:
“What makes art good?”
It is a good question, but luckily it is easy enough to answer. There are many methods of telling whether art is good, or not good. And I’ve listed some below:
Because people and art go hand in hand. Without people, there wouldn’t be art, so that’s why this fact makes perfect sense.
If an artist framed their artwork, it means they take their art seriously, which is very good.
The true purpose of art is to question the nature of the human existence, which is confusing. So if it confuses you, that’s a sure sign the art is achieving its goal.
I think this goes without saying;
This is a handy little cheat to remember, because it means YOU can make art better than it actually is, simply by waving your hands. Remember this when talking about your own art with your friends.
Always count the shapes in art. Write down the number of shapes in a notebook. This will help you tell.
This is known as guerrilla art. You could be surrounded by art right now, and you don’t even know.
AND LASTLY, LADY ARIA’S VERY SPECIAL PRO TIP:
At some galleries, the wine is free, especially if it’s the opening of a new exhibition. These are the galleries to go to, because they have the best art. But if you have to go to a gallery without free wine, make sure to accessorise your outfit with a large tote bag, so you can bring your own.
There you go, lambs. I hope you got some insight into the very very trendy world of art.
Lots of love