Can you feel the winds of change breathing life into your soul? Maybe it’s just the new setting on your office air conditioner.
Admit that you’re sick of it. You’ve been living in the smog bubble, dragging your corpse out of bed every day so that you can sit in traffic, eat a Woolies desk lunch at your boring job and then get home to your overpriced apartment before going for a drink at the same old bar with the same old friends who are borderline alcoholics.
But imagine if you lived in Durban.
I know, weird, but hear me out because I did it. You probably think Durban is too hot for you. It is, but have you ever heard of flip flops to work? I’m not saying you have to, I’m just saying you can.
Durban is so small that you could literally do everything on this list in one day and not even be mad about Uber prices. It’s an itty bitty city with so much to show, and this is the beginning of your brand new life. You will unwrap Durban like a puppy for Christmas, and fall further in love with it every day as it transforms your world. The grass is ridiculously green out here. So pack your bags and head East, or you can go back to your Woolworths lunch tomorrow… and we’ll see you when you’re on the beach in December.
If you’ve never lived in Durban, you’d move here and meet a ton of cool people all the time. They all know each other already, so they’ll LOVE you because you’re new and interesting. You’d make friends with all the up-and-coming musicians at Khaya Records when you sit on the balcony and listen to vinyls while smoking lots of cigarettes. They’ll say something like, “we should jam sometime” and you probably will. You can try anything in Durban – it’s a space to experiment and create, for talent to incubate. If you don’t have a talent you can just make one up and become a photographer, DJ or a stand-up comedian (like I did). Khaya shares its space with TheOtherRoom gallery and like everything in Durban is close to other art spaces like Cityzen Internet Cafe. The Green Camp Gallery project is also worth checking out, especially if you’re one of those people who gives a damn about sustainability.
People from Durban love to go thrift shopping because we are mostly broke. The Car Boot Market on Sundays is where you want to go to dress yourself in vintage dreams. If wearing dead people’s clothes isn’t your vibe you can always head down to Station Drive and pick up some fresh new threads from Jane Sews. You can also pop in at The Morning Trade to sort out all your organic produce and say ‘hi’ to all your new friends. There’s plenty to snack on at the precinct, and you can stock up on all the gorgeous furnishings you might need for your new apartment (with a sea view) at Con Amore.
If you do move to Durban I advise that you put away a substantial portion of your salary for bougie breakfasts at Parc Cafe on Saturday mornings. The best eggs benedict of your life is worth surviving on tuna for a week. They have live jazz on Saturdays, and you could drink wine and call it brunch with all the other people who pretend they can afford to eat there.
Got the jazz
If you thought Durban was all flip flops and bikinis you have obviously never heard of The Chairman, the most fabulous nightclub the sea side city has to serve. Nevermind that it’s in one of the most notorious and glorious locations in town, The Chairman is where to go if you want to feel like a million bucks. Seriously, take a million rand there and you will have the most spectacular night of your life. You’ll meet all sorts of people, from hustlers to kings, and you’ll see some of Durban’s stunning old buildings on your way. The jazz club has that low-key high-class vibe so you might even meet someone famous there (although they’ll have to tell you they’re famous, because you won’t have heard of them).
The beach, bru
Durban is basically a city planted in the middle of a forest. There are lush hiking trails just out of town that you’d explore with your new friends who smoke weed. You’d do lunch at Afro’s on the beach and check out all the sexy people on the promenade from behind your reflective sunglasses. Everyone is gorgeous.
Killer traffic sunrise
The sun rises right here in the East and it’s fucking glorious when you’re sitting in traffic, which is minimal, by the way. Housing is relatively cheap here too, so you could afford to do something wild, like get a dog or have a baby. This is your life, I don’t know.