Top 5 Joburg Instagram Clichés

Almost everything has its clichés, films, music, photos, friends so why should the Instagram community of big sprawling Johannesburg be any different? Scrolling through your timeline, you are almost guaranteed to see at least one of these pictures. So get your checklist ready (and maybe prep yourself for a little bit of introspection) here are 5 Joburg Instagram clichés.

The Neon Sign at Hells Kitchen (Melville)

It’s your fourth shot of hellfire and you’re feeling a little bit frisky but then your eyes avert to the red neon sign. Be Naked When I Get Home? I mean, sure the only thing that will really be naked at home is my Urban Decay makeup collection but it signifies that I’m in touch with my sexuality – and I’m in Melville.

Father Coffee Bench (Rosebank/Braamfontein)

“Brobrobro, you like have to go to Father Coffee, they make the dankest cappi’s. Also, there’s this wooden bench, that when you sit on it, you totally feel you’re in like New York or something. Hold my double shot, I gotta get a pic for the gram.”

The Glory Print (Melville)

While Glory isn’t there anymore, the wall is, which means that you can still sneak in a couple of photos before a pop-up bar, restaurant or ‘pop-up whatever’ opens there.

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…I was burnt before the fire ?

A post shared by Isheanesu Mlandeli-Machiri (@shea__nanigans) on

Obligatory Northcliff Hill Post (Northcliff)

While we may not have mountain’s facing the ocean, we do have the next best thing: Mountains facing Cresta Shopping Centre, which actually, makes an incredible picture when you blur out the background and all your surroundings. But seriously, seeing the burbs from another perspective is always awesome – even if the pathway across the hill is scattered with broken bottle and dudes smoking hubbly.


Maboneng Sign (Maboneng)

Maboneng signifies the new South Africa, the union of old and new under the guise of trendy restaurants and hip bars. It’s like an oasis of expensive negronis and foodstuffs you’ve never heard of in the middle of the hustling city. I’m just gonna go out and say it: I’ve taken a few pictures under this sign so I’m just gonna vito this one by saying it’s one of the more acceptable cliches.

Even your boi Beckham.

Between 10 and 5